A New Beginning

I have been thinking a lot lately about factors that get in the way of people creating their new beginnings. I have come to realized that most people know exactly what they need to do to get to their new beginning. You know the pros and cons, how long it will take you to get to where you need to be in life and you might even have a lot of insight into what is hindering you from achieving your new beginning. I can also guess that you have spent a lot of time thinking about your new beginning. However, although you hold the above mentioned information, your life situation does not seem to change for the better. You might be asking yourself and others “why I can’t just change” or “why it is so hard to follow through with what I know is right.” You are constantly experiencing “stuckness” and you might be perplexed by this phenomenon. Below are tools to help you move from you sense of “stuckness” to experience the new beginning you desire and deserve:

“Why” versus “What” questions

In order for any change to occur, you need to develop insight into yourself. Being able to identify patterns and flawed thinking early on in your journey to create your new beginning is crucial. To start, you will have to avoid “why” questions at all cost! It’s so easy to get stuck when you ask yourself over and over, “why am I stuck” or “why can’t I just do what I need to do” etc. What you will probably get is a list of obstacles and  more “evidence” that you are stuck. So one might ask, if the “why” questions are to be avoided, how do you get information regarding what you need to do to move forward?  As indicated above, “why” questions give you supporting evidence for your “stuckness,” they do not lead you to identify the issue at hand or help you do anything differently.   However, when you substitute the word “why” to “what” when you are trying to get insight, you get a lot more useful information. Asking questions, like “What is getting in the way of me working on my personal and professional goals?” “What do I need to do now?,” and “What do I need to do next?” allow you to brainstorm next steps around what you need to do to carry out your goals.

Fear

A major obstacle people face in creating their new beginning is fear.  I am not trying to minimize this natural reaction to change.  I understand that in order to create your new beginning; you might have to change a lot of things in your life. This can be very difficult and a scary thing for you…..for most of us.  In addition, your past experience with change might negatively influence your ability to strategize effectively about your next step to achieve your new beginning. The good news is that there are more adaptive ways for you to deal with the feeling of fear when it arises.   Oprah Winfrey once stated “the thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”   I would also add that facing fears can give you new information, dispel misconceptions and help you identify your strength and most importantly, help you develop resilience.  With that being said, fear is something you should want to explore more frequently, the worst that could happen is that you discover that what you had in mind was not meant for you.  It is this type of flexibility in your thinking that will allow you to identify other achievable goals and/ or options….that’s right options!

Faith

In order to achieve any new beginning, you have to have faith. The Merriam- Webster Dictionary defines faith as “a complete trust in someone or something.”  I am not alluding to or suggesting magical thinking here. I am suggesting that you have to be completely enthralled with the new beginning you are trying to create for yourself. Faith has many components. First, faith is living your life with a purpose. You have to be intentional about everything you do when you are working towards your goals. You also need to believe that you will achieve them.  Secondly, faith will allow you to “live as if” your new beginning has already happened. One of the best things you can do for yourself as you embark on creating your new beginning is to get into the feelings of love, great health, peace and success. Go about your day visualizing that what you desire already exists. Positive affirmations (such as “I am doing the best I can,” “I may not be getting the end result I want at the moment, but I am learning the process,” “I deserve to be happy” etc) are tools that can be used to help you focus and keep on track.  Thirdly, faith will allow you to have some flexibility in your thinking even if you have to deal with some initial challenges. Flexibility allows you to accept your mistake or miscalculation as such and to see these as lessons learned on your quest to achieve your goals. Fourthly, faith calls you to let get go of your baggage, freeing yourself of past failures and hurt that often weighs down on you. You do not want this weight when you are moving onward and upward! In fact, faith will allow you to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Being thankful for what you have and the good to come.

Support System

It is a given that although you might be doing the best you can to create your new beginning, life happens. There will be a lot of things that will come your way that you will not foresee. Some will have damaging effects on you as you go about creating your new beginning. For this reason, it is absolutely necessary for you to have a support system in place. Enrolling someone who truly wants you to be successful and who will not let you give up on your dream when you want to is very important. I know it is not always easy to put yourself out there but as discussed above, you learn a lot more when you face your fears than when you avoid them. Reach out to someone who has experienced what you are going through or who knows a lot about your particular situation. Request their help in getting you through your tough time. The response you might get just by putting yourself out there may surprise you, but sometimes a certain opportunity will present itself and you wouldn't even know until you ask.  A good thing to remember is if you are continuously employing the above mentioned points, you will be back on your feet again in no time and you may not necessarily need a lot of support once you are back on track. 

In closing, “stuckness” is something everyone deals with at some point in life. However, in order to change your situation, create your new beginning, you have to do something different.  This might mean changing your perspective, having more faith in yourself and/or being open to supports. With these tools in place, you will feel more empowered to own your new beginning and start living your best life yet.